Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
