I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
