You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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