please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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