...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
