Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sarcasm needs its own font
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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