You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
