Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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