Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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