your room smells of hookers.
And success
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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