this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
