Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This baby is an asshole
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
