Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
