ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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