my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
