i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
