dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have aggressive nipples.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
