the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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