How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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