Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
sex in a hospital.. check
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
