You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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