I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
