i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
