yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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