Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
