I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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