Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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