My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
