we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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