it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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