Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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