I think I died a long time ago.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
