Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
