yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just cropdusted the office
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How does one acquire holy water?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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