My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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