Kiss
Puke
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
