My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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