Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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