Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
