I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
A+ Viking dick
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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