he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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