fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need to calm my uterus...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
