sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
