WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
