i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
