Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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