There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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