Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
