Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
