i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
