just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
