well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
