Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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