he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
